Heyyyy.

Hope you are still reading my blog...

I know i have been giving you a lot of headache recently over the same matter over and over again.

Just want you to know that I realised I have a super conservative mindset which... well... is kind of hindering our progress.

Many things been running thr my head and I dont have anyone to turn to to ask... Well, until I kinda had a talk with my bro.

I know it sounds weird, but it has changed my thinking by quite a lot. Esp about the how I see things with regards to the problem that we are kind of having now.

I have NEVER been exposed to such intimacy with a guy, nor have seen any, nor have heard anything about it. Stupid or pure? I don't know. But I know it needs to be changed. Because it's suppose to be normal!

Oh wells... I think I have also said what not to be said.

I just hope that if we can smooth things out, I want us to be able to talk about such stuff next time. Even if I feel awkward about it, just ask me or smt.... >.<

Beacuse i believe there is more to us than this.

Because I know it matters to you. And it took me a lot of courage to speak my mind.

Because I know the fact that I am not that open towards you bothers you. That's why I decided to be more open towards you.

Because being open towards you also means to be honest with you. That's why I have thought it throught the entire day before speaking to you. You asked why wait till now? Because I wanted to try to meet to your expectations first. Because I want to try to give you as much as you have given me, even though its not things on the same line. And like I have mentioned before, there are many things that I won't know if I can take it or not until I have tried it out. And there are also many things that I feel ok to begin with but starts to dwell on me after some time. And I want you to know.

Because I believe there is more to us than this.


Because I believe that some things are to be kept till after marriage. Even though I know that's a very conservative way of thinking. But I believe such intimacy should be kept for the one and only person I want to spent my life with. My thinking might change overtime, but for now, I still dont feel that we are at that stage of emotionally attached enough to be at certain level of intimacy.

Because I don't want to be afraid that I don't know when I might just lose you because I can't give enough in terms of intimacy.

Because I want you to like me for me, more than what my body can give. I like the way you play around with me. I like the way you hold me - my hands, my waist. I like the way you caress my face, play with my hair, touch my back. I like the way you hug me, be it from the back or a bear hug. I like the way you kiss me, even though sometimes it's a little more passionate to my liking, but I'm slowly getting use to it. I like to watch you when you drive, when you sleep. I like the way you look when you are serious at work, very charming. I like the way you want to introduce me to your family, it shows me that you have nothing to hid and that you are proud to have me. I like to lie on your shoulder, I like to lean against your back. I like the warmth against your body. I like that you can speak a few different languages and dialacts. I like that you correct my english. I like that you know many things more than me. I like you for being you.

Because I like the way I feel when I am around you.

Because I think we look cute together.

Because I know, and I am sure, that I really like you and I want us to work.

Because I want to love you like no tomorrow.

Because I want to be true to myself, and be true to you too. I don't want to love you and do things that are against my principles and that are not my character. I want to give you my true self, and I want you to love that true me, not who I try to be.

Because I know that there are lots more things that I want to do together with you.

Because I know there is more to us than this.




Because I believe that crying in front of you will only gain sympathy and not solve any problems.




Because I do not have rights to 撒娇 to you. Because I know I'm not giving in as much. But I am now. Because I want to.

Maybe

Maybe we are just not meant to be.

But why was the attraction so strong in the first place?

Why am I able to see the potential in us?

Why am I holding on to it even thou it's so tough?

Why do I bother to make things right even when you said u don't care anymore?

Why am I willing to change myself for you?

Why do I get angry with you?

Why do I want to make up to you?

Why do I compromise?

Why do I give in?

Why do I like you so much... That I want to love you like there's no tomorrow as well.

I'm scared. I'm insecure. I'm confused.

But I still want to make things work for us.

愛的故事

作曲: 林俊傑
作詞: 王雅君

第一次心那麼肯定
第一次心無法平靜
第一次發現愛的魔力

想帶你到處去飛行
拍下微笑感動表情
每一天有你 廷續著劇情

愛的故事裡
是一點一滴默契累積
是一朝一夕都好想你
原來你早滲透 我呼吸

愛的故事裡
是一分一秒都需要你
像地球的吸引力
讓我緊緊 纏繞著你

You're like the clear blue sky
always make me feel so fine
你讓我在夜裡捨不得 close my eyes
Wanna bring you all my charms
Wanna hold you in my arms
Show my love Show my heart
I'm gonna show you what I got

未來是一段一段預告美麗的日劇
擁抱你的溫度 是如此 的熟悉
Just you and I 劇情廷續 相愛就在一起

愛的故事裡
是一點一滴默契累積
是一朝一夕都好想你
原來你早滲透 我呼吸

愛的故事裡
是一分一秒都需要你
像地球的吸引力
讓我緊緊 纏繞著你

多幸運讓我能擁有你
幸福必須 完美結局
當時間都暫停 我仍朝你的方向前進

我用真心呼喚你的名
沒有擔心 只有堅定
永遠愛你 因為甜蜜 是心動的插曲

愛的故事裡
是一點一滴默契累積
是一朝一夕都好想你
原來你早滲透 我呼吸

Woo~
我一分一秒都需要你
像地球的吸引力
讓我緊緊 纏繞著你

我看見愛 悄悄降臨

24/7

害怕的不是未知的未来，而是未来里没有你。

Like Bella in Edward's arms.

Vulnarable yet protected.

Feeling so safe and protected in his arms. Yet, there is no knowing when he might just crush me into pieces.

The insecurity is slowly eating me up.

There is so much to gain...

And so much to lose too.